


It’s a Bad Day

by WitcherSexual



Series: 50 Shades of Slutty Jaskier [5]
Category: Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types
Genre: Kaer Morhen, Lambert Is Suicidal, Lambert Needs a Hug (The Witcher), Lambert has Depression, Lambert probably has PTSD, M/M, Mention of Character Death, Multi, Not Beta Read we burn with Cintra, Suicidal Thoughts, Vesemir Loves His Pups
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-06
Updated: 2020-06-06
Packaged: 2021-03-04 04:15:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,511
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24577417
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WitcherSexual/pseuds/WitcherSexual
Summary: Lambert has a bad day and he needs help coping.Again very Lambert-Centric but I have no regrets. Please know that it touches on topics like depression and anxiety, they don’t have a word for it but all the Witcher’s do have PTSD but all cops differently.
Relationships: Eskel & Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia & Jaskier | Dandelion & Lambert, Eskel/Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia/Jaskier | Dandelion/Lambert, Lambert & Vesemir (The Witcher)
Series: 50 Shades of Slutty Jaskier [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1769815
Comments: 11
Kudos: 125





	It’s a Bad Day

Lambert woke up first, not a rare occurrence but he could feel the pressure build up in his chest. He tried to move but was boxed in by four others. Jaskier was lying across his lap, his head in Geralt's lap, who was beside him. Jaskier’s legs draped across Eskel and Vesemir was underneath him, arms encasing him. 

He needed out. He tried to shake Vesemir's hold on him but the man just tightened his grip.  _ Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.  _

Jaskier was waking up. He could feel the bard shift to look at him. He probably looked like shit, he always did. Only a matter of time until they all realized that. 

“Lamb you okay?” Jaskier tried to pat his chest but he couldn’t fucking breathe. He moved onto Geralt's lap so Lambert could move more freely. 

“Off. Off.” He tried to move but Vesemir was still holding him. The other three Wolves were starting to wake with the movement and noise. 

Vesemir must have realized what he was trying to say because he released him and Lambert flew out of the bed and out the room. 

_ Air. Breathe. Fuck. _

He was running. He doesn’t know where but he needs to get away. The roof. Yeah that would be good. 

He changed directions as he ran passed the stairs. He jumped three at a time as he went up. It was a common place he went. It was high up, easy to see and well no one else went there. 

He leaped out a window on the top floor, spinning around on the spot as he climbed the wall that was so common. His heart racing and well that wasn’t uncommon either, he was always broken even before being a Witcher. He remembered when Rennes held him as he cried, the soft words of how he was okay and he wasn’t broken. 

He let out a sob as he held his chest. He needed to fucking breathe. 

_ You are a fucking failure. Should have killed you before you could disappoint me.  _

The voice of his father drifted in. He always disappointed him and his mother. He was a failure. 

_ All of them are going to see how fucked up you are.  _

He couldn’t argue with that. He was going to fuck up. He’d scare Jaskier and no one would want him again. 

“Lambert? Where are you darling?” Jaskier was looking for him. He had to hide before one of them heard or smelled him there. 

_ They’ll forget about you. Put them out of their misery and stab yourself. They’ll be better off without you.  _

“Lambert. Are you okay?” No he wasn’t okay. He was a failure and they would know one day. Fuck he hated himself. 

His head was spinning as he stood up, he walked to the wall and looked at it before punching it. The wall crumbled with a crack, his knuckles were split open and the pain quietened his mind. He missed the pain of The Path for this reason. At least there he could start fights when he needed to breathe properly. 

He punched the wall again, harder and then harder until the voice was drained with the pain. If only he had a dagger or even his sword. 

“Lambert I’m coming up. It’s Vesemir, son.” Lambert looked towards the voice. Of course Vesemir would find him first, he always did.

“Lambert. I need you to stop punching the wall because I’m going to come over now.” Vesemir's voice was soft in the pain. Like a candle being lit in the darkness, but it was snuffed out quickly as the voice came back. 

_ He hates you. Rennes hated you. They all hate you. You deserve to be alone.  _

“Lambert, son. Let me help you.” Lambert hesitated. He punched the wall again. Watching the blood fall from the reopened cuts. 

“Fuck off. You don’t care. Just leave me alone.” He was spitting as he said the words he knew that. But Vesemir didn’t leave, he never fucking did. 

“You know I won’t do that. Let me help you okay. We love you Lambert and we want to help you.” 

“No. Jaskier doesn’t know what I am. I’m a fucking failure.” 

“If you were then why did you survive? Why do we love you? Why do Me, Eskel and Geralt worry every year until you walk through those gates?” 

“You don’t fucking love me! My own father didn’t so why would you! You only pretend to care since there aren't any of us left!” Lambert was screaming. The others could hear him obviously even Jaskier could hear him. 

“Son we love you. And you know how we feel, without you we wouldn’t know what to do. You complete the pack.” Vesemir was moving closer. His hands out in front of him but Lambert just moved back, his back hitting the wall. 

“Back. Don’t.” He choked out as his chest tightened again. Vesemir must have understood because he stopped walking and just watched him. 

“Okay I’m stopping. I need you to talk to me son. What do you want me to do?” Lambert didn’t even know why Vesemir was helping him. 

“You should have told me to jump off the towers ages ago. Before all this fucking happened.” He growled out, watching Vesemir's face fall. 

_ Good. Maybe they will realize how much of a mess he was and leave him to die.  _

“I would never do that. You know how much you mean to me. To Eskel, Geralt, Jaskier. I can’t lose you Lambert. I can’t lose another member of my family.” Lambert didn’t know what to say.

“I can’t do it. I need to feel pain. I feel worthless.” He was crying again.  _ Always with the fucking tears like a child.  _

“You aren’t worthless. You are family. My son, the other three love you because you are their partner.” 

He crumbled, his body given up and he felt the ground underneath him. Vesemir was there holding him as he cried. They stayed on the roof for a while, Lambert didn’t even know how long it was. 

“We should move you inside. The other three are worried,” Lambert nodded softly. He held onto Vesemir as they slowly stood. He could feel his legs shake with the weight but Vesemir held him tighter. 

“I’ve got you son. Think you can hold on to me while I climb down?” Lambert looked to Vesemir, he didn’t really care but nodded anyway. 

“Okay, I’ve got you. If you climb on my back we can go to the others. Or I can put you into your bed and tell the others to leave you alone.” 

“Need them.” Vesemir nodded as Lambert held on to him. Lambert felt the movements start as they moved to the edge. 

“Okay. We got you.” Vesemir slowly climbed down the wall. It wasn’t much but they made it down safely. Lambert let go of the other Witcher and stumbled on his own feet before stabilizing. 

“You ready?” He was asked and he nodded with the biggest smile he could muster. The other knew it was fake but didn’t say anything. 

They walked through the Keep slowly. Vesemir held his arm to keep him stabilized in the present. The steps that he had run up felt steep and the harsh cold was cutting into his face as they moved. 

His chest was still heavy, it felt like a weight was sitting on him and it wasn’t moving. Vesemir must have sensed the discomfort in his chest because soon his arm tightened around him and brought him in closer. 

“Almost there Lambert, you are doing so well.” Lambert just nodded at the words, not really listening because his energy had left him again. Head was spinning, and he was sure his hands had gone numb. Maybe that should concern him but he ignores it. 

“Tell me if you want to leave okay. They want to help you but you are the one in charge here okay.” Lambert nodded again. He at least heard these words.  _ He could do this, he needed to make sure the others were okay. Jaskier has never seen this. Fuck what if he hated him now. What if he made Geralt and Eskel realize that he was worthless. He couldn’t go back to how they were before.  _

“I need you to stop overthinking okay. Everyone in this Keep loves you. We love you for you even if you have some bad days okay. We are here for you,” 

Lambert nodded again. He had long given up on the ‘Witchers Don’t Feel’ bullshit because he felt the pain when he burned his friends. When he burned Rennes. When he broke down and almost killed himself because of loneliness. It was all bullshit. 

The door to the hall opened and three sets of eyes were on him, he felt watched and uncomfortable but he walked behind Vesemir who made sure the three of them were ready. 

Jaskier was the first up, Lambert watched as he walked over and pulled him into a hug. It was tight and restricting but for some unknown reason he didn’t feel threatened. As soon as it started it was over. 

“We got you Wolf. What do you want?” Jaskier’s voice was soft as he asked him.  _ What did he want? The 100 crown question that was.  _

So he settled with a shrug to it. Jaskier nodded and moved so Geralt could pull him close and inhale his scent. It was more claustrophobic than Jaskier’s hug because he was bigger but it was okay. No panic yet. 

Eskel copied Geralt, his arms encasing Lambert who sighed as he inhaled all three of them on him. Vesemir was still standing behind him watching as they moved. He kept sniffing the air, making sure he wasn’t overwhelmingly himself. 

“How about we sit beside the fire? You can decide what you want after heating up a bit.” All eyes turned to Vesemir, he smiled softly as all of them moved to the fire. It was blazing and there were soft furs layed out for them to lie on. Lambert was in the middle while the four sat a little bit away from him. 

“Uh. ‘m sorry.” He finally said, eyes trained on the fire and the way it moved so freely. 

“Nothing to be sorry for Wolf.” Eskel spoke softly to him. And well he didn’t believe that but didn’t voice his disbelief because he didn’t want to disappoint them more. 

“It’s okay you know. I took a course in Oxenfurt. It wasn’t that fun but I did learn a lot if you want me to tell you.” Lambert looked up to Jaskier who was smiling, there was no fear, hatred, disappointment in him at all. Just his usual self with a sadness clinging to him.  _ You put that there. _

“What?” He squeaked out as he watched Jaskier smile more at him. 

“It was on medicine and things in the mind. I got bored one semester and well dear old Alfred paid for it because he wanted me out of the house. But I do know some things, and I’m rambling sorry.” 

Lambert looked to Geralt, then Eskel, finally moving his eyes to Vesemir. All of them were moving their gaze between him and Jaskier. They knew that fathers as a whole -if his could even be called that, the abusive bastard- were not a topic to bring up. Too many memories which triggered episodes. But for once Lambert didn’t mind. 

“Tell us?” He asked Jaskier who lit up and nodded. Lambert relaxed into the fur. It was calming to be surrounded by his family, people who said they cared and maybe one day they would convince him. 

“Where to start.” Jaskier chuckled before setting into an introduction to the knowledge. 

“Well this was learned a while ago so it may not be entirely accurate. But the mind can become ill like the body. It isn’t as common as the pox but can be deadly if not treated. The brain can attack the person in ways only they can see, hear or feel.” 

Lambert drained out the words but listened to Jaskiers melodic tune as he talked. Eskel seemed very interested in it all and Lambert wouldn’t be surprised if he showed up next winter with a new understanding of the topic and a load of books. 

Lambert made grabbing hands towards the four of them as he felt his body shut down. He needed to feel all of them beside him, reassurance. 

The four moved closer. His head fell into Jaskiers lap who was still explaining how people feel like they were worthless for no reason.  _ That hit hard.  _

His legs were lifted and Geralt lowered them into his lap as he played with his trousers. Vesemir moved to the other side and picked up an arm to hold while laying his head on his chest, listening to his heartbeat as he breathed in time. Eskel sat beside Geralt and played with the other arm, moving a hand to his cheek. 

_ Take it in because it’s only a matter of time until you die. Or they die. Jaskier is human.  _

For once the voice didn’t affect him as much. He could still hear it but the bodies surrounding him relaxed him enough to sleep. Jaskier played with his hair, Geralt rubbed his legs. Eskel and Vesemir were rubbing his arms to calm him and themselves down. 

He closed his eyes and breathed in, the world fading to darkness as he fell asleep. 

—

Geralt looked up to Vesemir as Lambert succumbed to sleep. The old Wolf's eyes held a haunted look to them and Jaskier saw him falter before asking a question. 

“How bad was it this time?” Eskel and Jaskier watched Vesemir's shoulders drop slightly. 

“Bad, he was talking about his father and how much of a disappointment he was. Said Jaskier would leave as soon as he realized what he signed up for. And uh. He asked why I didn’t let him jump off the tower before he changed.” Jaskier let out a small tear. The idea of leaving his Witcher’s was horrible. But the idea of one of them dying because he felt unworthy of love hurt more than all the hurt he had felt before, and he had been attacked by a drowner! 

“But he’s had worse and with you three helping he will be okay.” Vesemir finished with a sad squeeze to Lambert’s arm. 

“Four.” Jaskier corrected. They looked at him and the bard pointed at Vesemir. “You are family and helped him today because you knew where he was and what to do. So all four of us will remind him how much we love him and how amazing he is.” 

Vesemir nodded at him with a soft smile. Eskel looked between them and whispered. “And he’s just been adopted by Vesemir,” 

Lambert shifted as all four of them turned their attention to the sleeping Wolf.  _ Yeah they would all help him get better.  _


End file.
